did anyone actually ever read those animorph books
just stared at the covers for a concerningly long amount of time before putting it back where i found it
me too
Same
Here are some of the spoilers you missed out on by not reading Animorphs:
- Five children are forced to engage in guerilla warfare, espionage and repeated murder to protect their loved ones from alien parasites as they wait for the other, heroic aliens to finally arrive. When they do, the “good” aliens turn out to not give a shit about humans, caused the whole intergalactic war through their own shittiness and are willing to exterminate whole planets themselves to get at their hated enemies.
- A child repeatedly experiences his intestines hanging out of his body while in various animal forms
- A child is mentally tortured until broken and never gets better
- A child in the form of a fly experiences getting splattered and smeared against a ceiling until his friends who are also flies at the time can peel his body off and take him somewhere he can transform back into a whole human before his insect mind fades completely
- A child is shrunken and experiences having her eyeballs digested out of her head inside her friend’s stomach while she’s in the form of a tiny elephant
- The heroes are forced to permanently imprison another child in the body of a rat because he knows too much and they abandon him on a tiny island with only other rats and garbage for company. Rumors circulate that the island is haunted but it’s actually his psychic screams reaching distant boaters.
- A race of devastatingly powerful, violent aliens turn out to be mental toddlers who don’t know what they’re doing and are just bred to think they’re playing one big game before they’re killed at age three so they don’t learn the truth
- An alien spends a few centuries hanging from the parasitic tentacle of a much bigger alien, surrounded by millions of rotting corpses attached to its other moon-spanning tendrils. They engage in mental warfare until one finally absorbs the other completely.
- It turns out another seemingly “evil” alien race is simply driven to kill and eat everything in sight because it was separated from its original world where food was continuous and the entire specie’s life is the torture of perpetual starvation
- A peaceful robot willingly removes its inhibition against violence to help in the war, only to slaughter a huge number of alien-controlled humans so gruesomely that nobody dares think about or speak of it again and it is the only thing left undescribed in a book series that already describes entrails getting torn out and skulls getting smashed
- A child stays too long in the form of a flea and instead of turning back into a human, accidentally turns momentarily into one big, giant flea that can only writhe and moan because it shouldn’t exist and can’t live at that scale.
- The kids discover Atlantis, then discover that Atlanteans are inbred mutants who paralyze any humans they find, dissect them alive to figure out how their organs work, then stuff the corpses as kitschy museum displays for their children.
- An ordinary ant gets transformed into a human child. It has no idea what’s happening and is so overwhelmed by its huge new brain and sensory input that it can only scream until it dies
What. The. Fuck
From someone who recently read/finished this series, NONE OF THE ABOVE IS AN EXAGGERATION.
Also you can get all the PDFs here
Everybody read some animorphs you know you wanna it’s right there
Go ahead and start on book one you’ll already get some juicy terror
Also:
- The villains are the villains because evolution fucked them over into being blind water worms whose only abilities are 1)swimming and 2) taking over other species’ brains, such that taking over other species’ brains is the only way out of what’s basically a sensory-deprivation prison that doesn’t let them do anything.
- The villains are a threat because the “good” aliens gave them enough technology to be a threat and then went “oops, that was stupid” and instead of giving them enough technology to fix it made a law against ever sharing their technology with anyone again.
- Seriously, the entire goddamn problem could have easily been solved, right down to the Yeerks’ ability to take over other species’ brains, by giving them—not their hosts, but the Yeerks themselves—the morphing ability, and having them acquire a new form and stay in it for two hours to lock them into it. Further morphing ability can be then provided, or not, as one chooses. But no more Yeerk form, no more taking-over-worlds-via-brain-parasitism problem.
Oh, but there’s so much trauma left to explore!!!
- There’s the time that an escaped host splits their skull open to literally show there’s no parasite in it’s skull
- The time one of the Kids finds out that his mother, who he thought had been lost at Sea and dead for most of a decade is actually the host to the Parasite who is leading the invasion of Earth.
- This kid also in full knowledge that his mother is still alive and well, trapped inside her head, throws her off a cliff to try and kill the head Parasite.
- One of the Children gets trapped as a bird in the very first book, and then spends the rest of the series as a bird, living in the forest and eating whatever he can hunt.
- Yet another of the Kids if forced to preform Brain Surgery on an alien ally in order to not only save his life, but cure the rest of the group of a deadly disease. She does this in a barn with powertools in the middle of the night.
- The series Ends with the leader of the group sending his cousin on a suicide mission to kill his Older brother, who is host to the parasite aiming a WMD at Earth.
124:
on the one hand there are many aspects of academia that should be criticized but on the other hand i’m concerned about the rise of anti-intellectualism as a tool of fascism
Hey yo what the fuck does this say in English? Because if you can’t explain in layman’s terms you’re not doing a good job of getting your point across to everyone.
hey man i think you might just be dumb
relatable sufjan stevens lyrics
- i made a lot of mistakes
- oh my god
- i am crying in the bathroom
- oh my gooooeoooeoooeod
- we’re all gonna die
All the post about kicking Solas ass while my Lavellan here just wants his father back…
I’d also like to think that it was not easy for Solas to do what he did…
What a punch in the feels… ;-;
Well, in that case, I won’t wear my button that says, “I’m a Slayer, ask me how.”
make me choose → anon asked: dragon age: inquisition or dragon age 2
“For almost a thousand years, the world believed it was in the hands of the Maker. And now many believe you are the agent of His will.”
―Vivienne
THE LORD OF THE RINGS (1978)
Eric and Otis in SEX EDUCATION, 1x07
dir. Kate Herron.
